CHEFS TO KNOW: FARIYAL ABDULLAHI

When we arrived at Hav & Mar, Chef Fariyal greeted us with tight hugs filled with so much warmth. Despite the grandeur of Hav & Mar, right in the Chelsea Arts District and adorned with decadent black mermaids crafted by artist Derrick Adams, it felt as if she was inviting us into her own personal home where we could feel a strong sense of belonging and comfort.

Chef Fariyal Abdullahi has served as the executive chef of Hav & Mar since it opened two years ago after being personally tapped by Marcus Samuelsson for the role. This makes her shockingly one of the only 6% of women of color leading kitchens at the most recognized restaurants in the world. With an impressive resume including Noma under Chef René Redzepi’s mentorship, Caviar Russe, and Hillstone Restaurant Group, Chef Fariyal continues to break barriers by channeling her Ethiopian heritage and foundational memories cooking with her mom. We were so honored to listen to her story and share how she infuses her unwavering work ethic, infectious passion, and strong commitment to her values of racial equity, representation, and sustainability to craft her unique imprint on the culinary world.

Chef Fariyal interviewed below by Nabila Wirakusumah (SHEER Creative Director) and Bianca Jean-Pierre (SHEER Founder)

Bianca: Thank you Chef for having us at the stunning Hav & Mar restaurant. How long have you been the executive chef? And how was the journey that led you to this specific restaurant?

Chef Fariyal Abdullahi: It’s been a long, arduous journey. I've been a chef for twelve years. When the pandemic hit in 2020, I had already been a head chef for five years. I got burnt out because I didn't think I was making any of the changes that I wanted to. 

Bianca: Where was this? 

Chef Fariyal: I worked for Hillstone Restaurant Group for five years and I worked at nine different restaurants. It's already very rare to be a head chef as a black woman. There are only about  6% of women of color that lead kitchens. 

Bianca: And that's not even just black women? That's just women of color in general?

Chef Fariyal: Women of color in general. And five years doesn't seem like a long time, but it's a long time when you take into account that we're usually working 80 hours a week. I always tell people you have to multiply time in the culinary industry like it’s in dog years. Working that much and feeling like you're not making any changes like hiring more people that look like me. I wanted to see more women of color and that was never the case.

I had this leadership position where my hands were tied behind my back because I couldn't really hire the staff that I wanted to hire, make the food that I wanted to make, or work with vendors that I wanted to work with. Here in New York City for example, black farmers get $1 for every $5 that white farmers make. I've always wanted to work with underrepresented communities and make food that represents more people than just one specific palate. 

In 2020 I decided this was not it for me anymore. It's been five years of me leading kitchens where I'm not making any changes whatsoever so I went back home to Ethiopia. I didn't have any formal plans, but I didn't think that I wanted to come back to the restaurant industry. Six months into my move back to Ethiopia, I got a call from Marcus Samuelsson.

Bianca: Did you know him? 

Chef Fariyal: No! I was eating at Red Rooster one time and he stopped by the table. But that was it. He knew of me so he got my contact information from a mutual chef friend that we have. And you know with iPhones if it's not a number that you have saved, it gives you suggestions.  My phone said “Maybe: Marcus Samuelsson”. 

Bianca: Which is a crazy thing to see pop up on your phone haha.

Chef Fariyal: But I picked up and it was him and he goes, “Chef, I'm opening a restaurant in New York City and I want you to be the head chef. I want you to lead the restaurant.” He told me the concept and at first I was apprehensive because I was thinking do I want to go back into that crazy world of toxicity and just so much work and no rest? My siblings are all physicians so they're always like you're doing damage to your body that's irreversible. Even though you don't feel it now because you're running on adrenaline, you’re going to feel it soon. 

Bianca: It’s almost like being an athlete and training.

Chef Fariyal: Absolutely. Being a chef is literally like being an athlete. I remember when I was 27 I went to see my doctor and she told me I had carpal tunnel on both of my wrists, I had a cubital tunnel in my elbow, and arthritis in my lower back and both of my knees. All of this at 27. It’s really like being an athlete and just overusing your body and your joints.

I was apprehensive when Marcus called me. Why would I come back to the restaurant industry when I finally found stillness? He wanted his restaurant to be run by a woman of color and it was really focused on sustainability. He wanted to work with underrepresented vendors and hire people that look like us and make our food. I was like, who sent you? This was everything I wanted, so I moved back immediately. 

Bianca: Earlier we were talking about traveling to Copenhagen and how Noma is such a hard place to get a reservation and you worked at Noma? I also read about Hav & Mar having some Nordic influences in the cuisine. Do you think that also played a role in what made you the perfect person for this opportunity? And what was that experience at Noma like?

Chef Fariyal: Oh 100%. And how rare is that, right? So Marcus's background is that he's Ethiopian but he was adopted into a Swedish family when he was two years old. So he grew up in Sweden. I was born and raised in Ethiopia and my first job as a chef out of culinary school was at Noma. 

Nabila: That was your first job??

Bianca: That’s insane. So impressive. 

Nabila: Where was culinary school?

Chef Fariyal: CIA in Napa. When I moved from Ethiopia, the plan was to be a doctor, which is not just with Ethiopians, but typical for any African family. They're very strict about that. 

I'm the youngest of six siblings and my siblings did go off to become doctors. I followed in  their footsteps and  got my Bachelor’s degree in Clinical Child Psychology. The plan was to go to medical school and become a psychiatrist, but after I got my Bachelor’s, I didn't apply to grad school. I decided I’m going to apply to CIA (Culinary Institute of America) which is the Harvard of culinary school. I wanted to apply to the hardest one and the best one. 

Bianca: What made you want to pivot and apply to culinary school specifically? Did you have that background in cooking already? 

Chef Fariyal: I’ve always enjoyed cooking. I started cooking when I was a kid in Ethiopia and alway helped my mom. But every time I voiced my desire to pursue it, my mom would tell me that's a hobby, not a career. She would say go become a doctor, and then you can cook in your free time haha. So I did it secretly. Even though I knew the whole time I wanted to be a chef, I just wanted to make my mom proud. My mom is my hero. 

So I got accepted into CIA and thought, come on, if this is not a sign that I'm meant to be a chef, then what is? When I was close to graduating, I remember some of my classmates already had experience working in kitchens but I didn't have any prior background in the culinary field so I always felt behind. And I was 25 so everybody was younger than me and I felt behind in the game. 

When I asked my classmates, what are you going to do after graduation? Where's everybody going to work? And this is the normal path that everyone follows where you work your way to the top. If you zoom into one kitchen, there's a brigade system set up where you start as a prep cook, then become a line cook, and then a sous chef. From there you become chef de cuisine and then executive chef. 

Nabila: Is head chef and executive chef interchangeable?

Chef Fariyal: They could be depending on the restaurant. So everyone at school had their sights set lower. This was in 2012, and at the time the best restaurant in the world was Noma. So I was like cool, I'm going to apply to Noma.

People thought that I was crazy like that can’t be your first job straight out of culinary school. And I'm like, why? The whole point is that we want to be the best, right? So shouldn't you learn from the best? People make things seem so hard without even trying. Why is it so unattainable? The worst that could happen is they say no.

Bianca: Where do you think that ambition and risk-taking comes from?

Chef Fariyal: I'm very fearless. I'm not afraid of hearing no. When you've gone through a lot and you know you can get over and get through things, it's like, what's the worst that could happen? So I applied to Noma and I got accepted. 

Bianca: So you pack your bags and head to Copenhagen? How long were you there for?

Chef Fariyal: About four months  I was an intern and I could have stayed as long as I wanted. But at the time I had a green card. You can't be gone more than six months at a time. 

Bianca: So how did you adapt?

Chef Fariyal: I've always been a put your head down and do the work kind of girl. There were very long shifts which I had already been exposed to going to classes eight hours a day and was also working as a teacher's assistant so that was another eight hours a day. So by default, I was already working 16 hours a day at culinary school.

Even before that, I moved to America when I was 16 and started college at 16. I had to pay my own tuition so I was working full-time and going to school full-time. I've been working for a long time.

Nabila: I feel like that attitude is inseparable from your work ethic.

Bianca: I think being a black woman and knowing that there are so few opportunities for us in that space, so we're constantly like I have to do everything in my power to make things happen for me, because no one else is going to give me that opportunity. So how did you like Noma? 

Chef Fariyal: I loved it. I always had the work ethic so I always tell people the thing that I learned and what made Noma the best was that every single person in that restaurant had integrity. Everybody did the right thing. Whether somebody was watching or not. Everybody did the right thing. 

And imagine back in 2014, there was still a very toxic work environment in kitchens, where everyone’s a bully. At the time, René Redzepi was talking about changing the culture of the kitchen. He was the first chef that I heard say he wants to make the kitchen an environment where people actually want to be. And I was like wait whaaat? I thought that’s just how it is like y’all yell at us and are mean to us and we accept it because there's prestige in working at Noma.  

Bianca: So when you left Noma and completed the program, what was that next step for you as a chef? 

Chef Fariyal: It was very weird coming back from Noma. Because while I was at Noma I had a lot of access to René. This doesn't happen for everybody because there are 80 interns that go through the kitchen each cycle. There was an intern kitchen at the time that was upstairs and we didn't work on the line. I ended up working on the line three weeks after I got there. 

I even remember MAD Symposium, this huge conference that Noma throws each year. Literally the best chefs in the world come and attend this conference. René was very serious about it so of course the Chef de Cuisine said only full-time staff would work the line for this. I went upstairs happily to my intern kitchen and René came to me upstairs and goes “What the fuck are you doing? You need to go downstairs right now.” I was like, “Yes Chef! Say less, Chef!” haha. I remember working next to a sous chef from Finland and he said “Whatever happens, don't freak out. Just put your head down and do the work.” Of course five minutes into service, René pulls up and he's not happy with the sous chef and he kicks him out because he had one tiny little drop on the cutting board that's not supposed to be there. So now I'm on the station by myself.

After this, I went from that experience and having such a close relationship with René to coming back to the States.

Nabila: It sounds like he really identified you as a talent and singled you out. 

Chef Fariyal: René [Redzepi] is such a great mentor. When Hav & Mar opened and we were going to be reviewed by Pete Wells, I was so nervous. First thing I did was text Rene and I was like, I don't know if I can handle this because this is my work. I don't get to hide behind anybody. He sent me a twenty-five minute voice note with advice. 

So going back, I returned to the states from Noma and my resume was so weird because it's like culinary school and then interning at Noma for four months. I had to start building work experience from scratch so I started working at a restaurant called Caviar Russe, which has one Michelin star, as a prep cook.

Nabila: So you still had to prove yourself?

Chef Fariyal: I did because they didn’t care that I worked at Noma. I’m in a new place and a new kitchen. I started off as a prep cook and I was making minimum wage, working six days a week. I was broke and hungry like this shit makes no sense.

Bianca: And you're so talented.

Nabila: You're sending out food that's so expensive but yet being paid minimum wage. It's like there's something wrong. 

Bianca: There are so many industries like fashion and beauty, or like food and entertainment, where I feel like that's the common denominator of not paying people enough despite the high price tag of products and services.

Let's go back to that call from Marcus. That was in 2020, in the midst of restaurants struggling with the pandemic, but he decides to open a restaurant?

Chef Fariyal: Yes, so the call was November of 2020. I think the plan was that it was going to open in January 2021. He's like you gotta come back, like right now. So I moved back and then the date to open the restaurant shifted by a year with everything being so unpredictable at the time. He asked me to still come on board as a consultant for the company and that there were so many projects that we could work on like the Met Gala.

Bianca: Amazing. So what did you guys do for the Met Gala? 

Chef Fariyal: So all we had to do was give them a menu and all the recipes. Anna Wintour directly reached out to me and I’m like of course I'm going to cook for the Met Gala. Hell yeah. 

Bianca: You are like a manifestation magnet. 

Chef Fariyal: I also believe that you have to be very pure in your intentions when you manifest. Three weeks before the Met Gala, they're like, what are you wearing? And I'm like, my chef coat? What do you mean? They're like, “No, you're not going to be in the kitchen. We have a catering company that's cooking the food. You're coming as a guest.”

Nabila: What did you wear? 

Chef Fariyal: I got a stylist and she’s asking me what I want to wear and I literally don't know. I'm not a fashionista or anything, but I knew I wanted to show that I’m Ethiopian. The only thing I knew is that I have to wear my headpiece because in my tribe, that's what we wear for special occasions. I'm like, what is more special than the Met Gala? 

People were losing their minds like Mary J. Blige and Yara Shahidi. People were stopping me from across the room like Serena Williams, Iman, Tracee Ellis Ross, they were all stopping me. Before that I had my friends take me up until the red carpet moment and they were all so nervous for me. The second I got on the red carpet, I just knew I was meant to be here. I was confident.

Bianca: I think when you're in that moment, something just activates. Because you're like, this is a moment, it’s happening. 

Chef Fariyal: Yeah, I wasn’t nervous at all! I was so excited. 

Nabila: You looked so fucking good.

Chef Fariyal: My whole messaging in 2021 was showing up as a 100% natural girlie and feeling comfortable in my natural body. I have fifteen nieces and nephews and it was important to me for them to see me not needing any enhancements to my body to grace a red carpet even among celebrities. It’s okay to be your natural self. 

Bianca: Well you ate that. You looked amazing. 

Nabila: I want to know about your mom, because you talked about cooking with her as a child. Even though she likened it to more of a hobby, she clearly prepared you enough that you could get into CIA and work at Noma. So what was learning to cook with her like?

Chef Fairyal: My dad got sick when I was very young so my mom had to raise all six of us by herself. She's such a badass. She got an arranged marriage when she was 16 and always regretted not finishing school. She stopped going to school when she was in the eighth grade and was very regretful about that. She started having kids at 17 and then my dad got sick and she had to raise all six of us by herself with an 8th grade education. 

It was really important for my mom to make sure that we had an education because she didn't want us to end up the same way that she did. She became a business woman and put us all through private school as a single mom. 

Bianca: What was her business? 

Chef Fariyal: She used to import electronic goods and sell them. She had a storefront and she was very successful at it.

She's the reason I wanted to become a cook. Everybody obviously thinks their mom is the best cook, right? But honestly, objectively as a chef, I can tell you that it wasn't until I went to culinary school and I was like how did my mom know this already?!

Bianca: Did she learn from family recipes being passed down?

Chef Fariyal: She was making bechamel and we didn’t have any recipes for that. In Ethiopia, some people have maids and she told me that one of the maids in our house when I was younger came from an Italian family. The maid taught her how to make all this Italian food. Then the next person taught her how to make French food. 

Bianca: And she probably also had a natural ability similar to you.

Chef Fariyal: Yeah, it's insane to the point where on all holidays like Eid, all of our uncles used to come to our house. They would leave their wives' homes to come to our house because my mom makes the best food.

As a kid, I correlated food and bringing everybody together. Her food brought everyone together and I thought to myself that I want to do that. My mom was very shy and a typical Muslim Ethiopian woman. It wasn't her personality that was bringing everybody to the house. It was literally her food. 

Bianca: What was your favorite thing to cook with your mom? 

Chef Fariyal: The first thing I started making as a kid was salads because there's no fire and it's not dangerous. I have a photo of me when I was six years old making a whole salad. What was precious to me about cooking with my mom was that we would walk to this farm right around the corner from us and buy the ingredients from the farmer. At six years old, it's embedded in my brain that we're getting food directly from the hands that grew it. And that was a normal life for me. 

Our milk used to be delivered to us. There was literally a little boy who would milk the cow and then deliver it fresh to our home. My mom would take the milk, boil it, and make all these different products like yogurt and desserts. We got our protein the same way. We would go to the mutton farm on our way back from school and we would pick the mutton. So as a kid, I learned a lot from my mom about cooking dishes but it was really the process of being close to our food source. 

The first time I ever came to the States, I was eight years old. I came for the summer and we went to a grocery store and I'm like, what is this? What do you mean this is packaged milk? I'm so confused. That was also the first summer I started having all these GI issues and I felt so heavy and bloated. We don’t know where our food comes from. I don't like this. So my mom instilled in me that you're not just going to make a salad. You're going to meet the person who grew the ingredients and be even more grateful for it. 

Bianca: And how does that play into your role now as an executive chef?

Chef Fariyal: There's a balance right? You have to be a profitable business so you can't buy everything directly from a farmer and sometimes you have to buy in bulk. Other times I can order things directly from farmers in my phone that I can text. There's one called Halal Farms where I get our meat. My butcher is black and Muslim, Prince Abou and he’s also from Africa. I want to know where my food is coming from. 

Nabila: That also ties very much into that Noma culture of integrity.

Chef Fariyal: Yeah, exactly. 

Bianca: Growing up in Ethiopia, then going to Copenhagen and now living in New York, you’ve had so many influences. I also read that you travel a lot. You've traveled to I think over 45 countries?

Chef Fariyal: Yeah, I think my last count was 54 countries. Definitely lost count.

Bianca: When I travel, food is so important to me. One of the top things I need to know is what are the best restaurants, especially for locals. So how has all of that traveling influenced your practice here as a chef and the recipes you create?

Chef Fariyal: When I was 25 and waiting to hear back from CIA, I backpacked to 18 countries solo by myself. And the reason I wanted to do that is because growing up in Ethiopia, your palate is very used to Ethiopian food and the flavors are super robust. It's spicy and everything is so flavorful. 

When I moved to the States when I was 16, I felt like everything that I was eating was super bland because all I was eating was cafeteria food. I swear before Beyonce coined the phrase, I used to travel with hot sauce in my bag. I had a little Tabasco. So for me, there was such a huge disconnect where food is either like Ethiopian food and super flavorful and robust or very bland. I was like wait, there's got to be an in between. I want to know what other foods are offered out there so I backpacked across Europe and Africa for three months. The entire purpose of that trip was to retrain my palate. I traveled to 18 countries purely to eat and learn.

Bianca: What was the standout place for you culinary wise? 

Chef Fariyal: Turkey really hit home for me. My grandma was actually Turkish. I'd never been to Turkey and I'd never identified as a Turkish person because I was born and raised in Ethiopia. When I was eating the food in Turkey, it felt like home. It felt very familiar to me. 

And France, obviously. When it's done correctly, French food is the fundamental standard. 

Bianca: French food just tastes so fresh. Like what you were describing about paying attention to the quality and every single ingredient going into the food. 

Chef Fariyal: French cuisine is a flex because it's so technique driven and not everybody has technique. Which is like the opposite of Italian food which is very straightforward and simple. Whereas with French food, you're going to let it simmer and strain or reduce and all that stuff. It’s a flex and you got to be a food nerd. I love that. 

I also cook with the intention of making sure we're taking care of the planet. None of the food waste that we produce here ends up in landfills. I've teamed up with different companies that use our compost for great things and it never ends up in landfills.

Bianca: You also have a nonprofit that is based in Ethiopia. Tell us more about that.

Chef Fariyal: That started with one of my closest friends who went back to Ethiopia after 20 years of being in the States. He went to visit his primary school and couldn't believe he was a byproduct of that and how little they had. He really wanted to help out and build a library because they didn't even have one. I asked how much would it cost to build a library and he's like $2,000, so I gave it to him. He was shocked that I was willing to give him $2,000 to build a library for a school I've never seen and I was like, yeah, why not? 

If we shared this with more people, imagine how much money we could raise. So it was born out of that idea. We did tell a few people, and we ended up rebuilding the entire school. 

We started a nonprofit called Take Care of Home. In rural parts of Ethiopia there’s free education, but the government can really only fund teacher salaries. They don't have the funding to build physical structures and we wanted to fill that gap. We raise money all year and build structures for them to actually execute the education and we've just finished our night school. 

I moved to the States when I was 16 but I always used to feel pretty guilty about leaving. I would always give back and send money and at one point I was taking care of eight families. I thought if something happened to me, then that's it for them. There has to be some kind of bigger picture and that was always education. 

We go back often to check on the schools and I love hanging out with the kiddos. We noticed that it was a majority of boys attending school so we started inquiring where the little girls were. They were tasked with getting water for the family since there’s no water in these villages. The little girls would actually have to go find a river and they were the source of water. I thought why can't we help with that? So another facet of Take Care Of Home is giving access to water to all of these families. And once we started doing that, the girls started to come to school.

Bianca: That's incredible and so beautiful. Thank you for doing this work.

Chef Fariyal: I think if you can, you should.

Bianca: This goes back to women empowerment, which is another big part of your journey. You mentioned that in culinary school there were only two women of color and just in general, there aren't many executives chefs that are black women. How has it been for you navigating this industry with that weight on your shoulders? 

Chef Fariyal: It's super heavy, especially once you start doing it on a huge stage and it’s so public. Leading up until this point, I've always said to just focus on your craft because people will distract you like, “Why are you here again?” When you're constantly having to justify your black female body in these white male spaces, you're not focusing on your craft.

I never listened to any of that stuff. You guys can go ahead and yap away but I'm going to go home and continue reading about how to get this perfect egg and just focus on the craft. When you are a woman of color, you can't be average, right? To get the exact same position, you have to be way more exceptional than your male counterparts. I'm going to make sure I learn everything so that I can become exceptional.

Bianca: And you have the receipts, because you are now a James Beard finalist. If that doesn't shut them up. I don't know what will. 

Chef Fariyal: People can’t say shit now because look at what happens when you give us a chance, look at what we do with it. If you look at my kitchen, there are more women right now than men. It's all people of color. And usually when you're making food at this level, you mostly see white chefs.

Bianca: And we're in Chelsea in the Chelsea Arts District in Manhattan. 

Chef Fariyal: Yeah, so I'm definitely addressing so many things like the sustainability component is so important to me. There are so many people that claim to be sustainable but don’t know what that really means.

Nabila: A lot of greenwashing

Bianca: And it cuts out a lot of people of color and their voice and their experiences in actually doing the work. Even in this space we have these beautiful black mermaids surrounding us. The decor of the restaurant is just so captivating and intentional. 

Chef Fariyal: And we're getting all of the awards. The New York Times listed us as one of the top 12 restaurants in New York City last year so we finished off strong. And personally getting my own flowers being a James Beard nominated chef. That’s crazy! 

CHEF FARIYAL’S WEBSITE

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